EPISODE 7: NICE GUYS FINISH LAST

            All bets are off. It’s anybody’s game. There’s no telling who’s in control. What do these phrases have in common? There all cliché, but more importantly, are all used by die-hard fans when the merge happens, and after this episode, all three can be used.  

On paper, the tribes are evened up, 6 men and 6 women, but “Survivor” is more than just a numbers game. Relationships have formed, and if the guys were crazy enough to give back immunity to get rid of Bill, numbers won’t matter to them.

          Now that Colton is gone, Christina can take a breather. Alicia is still shocked that Christina is in the game, but that shouldn’t surprise her, since cockroaches can survive anything.

          Even with the midnight feast, Alicia still finds time to sharpen her knives, and plan for the future. She still feels betrayed by Colton’s exit and that the idol should have gone to her. Thankfully this didn’t happen, in fact something better happened, more on that later.

          How did Jonas get a coconut to caramelize in the jungle? He needs to apply for Top Chef before doing Survivor again. Before Jonas could stir up more coconuts, Tarzan stirred the pot and made a scene. Just like Phillip Sheppard’s rice distribution theory to the tribe last year, Tarzan has perfected the fine art of making mountains out of mole hills.  

          Tikiano isn’t a bad name for the tribe. Maybe it should have been called the Grumpianos, since not everyone is happy to be one group so soon, especially Jay. Jay’s frustration that the tribes are one again is understandable, since his alliance is outnumbered 8 to 4, but with enough stealth and good moves, can go the distance.

            Leif “under”-performed in the reward challenge this week, and Manono really should have thought the move out a little more.

          Watching Jonas finally lose his temper with Tarzan was like watching “The Honeymooners.” I was waiting for Jonas to scream “ONE OF THESE DAYS TARZAN! BANG, POW, RIGHT IN THE KISSA!”

          Unsurprisingly, that fighting led to their teams’ demise and Alicia, Chelsea, Christina, Jay, Sabrina, and Troyzan won the reward. I was a little disappointed that Troyzan didn’t give a good old fashioned jungle yell and beat his chest.

          What do you know? Another idol is back in play. I guess Colton’s souvenir didn’t like him very much. It’s refreshing the producers want the idol to have some impact in the game and not be left a “what if?” question for all eternity.

          Jonas and Tarzan’s big argument was all about one thing…timing. Timing is everything in Survivor, and planning things too far in advance can hurt you. Jonas had a good point when he said that deals should be made at the last minute. Players are less likely to go back on their word right before a vote is about to occur, since there is less time to wiggle out of the deal and make a side alliance. Reasoning with Tarzan is futile. He is an older guy, set in his ways. He tried to pull a “Coach” and throw out the “fall on his sword” comment. His defensiveness and pettiness is hurting the men’s only hope of sticking together as one group.

          Its official, Troyzan is the King of the Island! Not 1 but 2 idols this week. His first idol was pretty easy to find. They need to go back to the idol feast in Gabon and put those idols in close group settings (where the group has to work together to find it, and to make matters worse, make a group decision). But with these castaways, the producers don’t feel the need.

          Troyzan’s second idol came from a challenge I like to call “That’s what she said.” This was the first individual immunity from last years’ Redemption Island, and Jeff decided it was time to let all the metaphors and one-liners out. Those comments got kind of old after a while, and hopefully Probst won’t be using this for his Emmy reel this year for Outstanding Reality Host.

          Yes Troyzan, this isn’t a dream, Probst is really touching you and you can’t be stopped right now. Don’t get any weirder or you’ll start reminding us of Erik Reichenbach’s gushing at Probst on episode 12 of Micronesia. 

          Jonas decided it was time to stop being Mr. Nice Guy and show some edge this week. But it’s the merge and being the quiet one is a threat to everyone. This is a group that isn’t letting anyone fall through the cracks and it seems like their already getting their end games on. At least the players aren’t playing emotionally and keeping personal and business matters separated.

          Tarzan is definitely this seasons’ Shambo. Socially awkward and isn’t afraid to shout it out. Tarzan never got over the fact that he isn’t in an ER, and now his outcast status has given him the unlikable finalist card. The question is will the tribe continue to put up with the jilted jungle boy for the rest of the game?

          Can Jay keep emerging as a power player?

Will Kim or Troyzan play their idols?

          What will Tarzan do to annoy everyone?

 

The boards are yours! Sound off!